Tell me you love me
by honeyhoneyox
Summary: A story that takes you through flash backs and bitter sweet memories. Back to the present to the romance and angst that await poor Remus and Tonks. Death, Sorrow, Happiness, Romance, Anger, you name it. Reviews are loved.
1. A trip down memory lane

-1"C'mon Moony, Prongs. It'll be fun." He tried, tossing the two boys a lopsided grin as he propped his legs up on the arm rest of the chair.

Sirius Black, resident sweet heart was attempting to pester his two best mates into attending Christmas at the house of one of his relatives. Though his attempts seemed fruitless as the other two showed no signs of budging.

"Fun!? I've heard about your family mate and I highly doubt that a week with one of 'em is going to be fun." James frowned, glancing at Remus as if to make sure he didn't agreed.

"But Ann isn't like the rest. And I haven't got a choice in the matter an' I already told her I'd be bringin' some extras! You can't refuse now." He cried, exasperated as he waved off a group of giggling girls. Obviously annoyed by their very presence.

"Please?" He finished sighing dejectedly. It wasn't often that Sirius Black stooped to a low enough level so as to beg. But at the moment he felt as if it were the perfect time for begging. He needed their support when dealing with his family, even if she were one of the nicest. And besides, it was bound to get awfully boring if he went alone.

He could see it though, Remus' resolve was beginning to crack. He was starting ever so slowly to give into his plea, and by the way James continued to glance from one to the other he could tell that he didn't want to be left alone during Christmas.

"I don't see why not, it could be fun…" Remus said, glancing at James who's eyes had widened in shock. Though he nodded dejectedly giving a short 'hmpf' of displeasure as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"What about Peter?" He asked, glaring around the common room as if to catch the boy beneath his scorching gaze.

"You gun'na make him come to?" He asked and Sirius shrugged.

"I dunno." He admitted.

"I haven't seen him around a lot. Hell he wasn't even here for the last full moon the bloody prat." Sirius said, leaning forward so that nobody else would hear. Though he was silenced by a raise of Remus' hand and looked up curiously.

"Don't remind me." He moaned, leaning back miserably into the chair.

The full moon was only a night away, meaning that this time tomorrow he would be undergoing a painful transformation with only a stag, a dog and (hopefully) a rat for company and comfort.

He still didn't like the fact that James and Sirius insisted on going with him, for fear of hurting them. But he knew it was for the best, they were able to keep him calm and he had never hurt them too bad before so he assumed it was safe enough to let them tag along.

--

The full moon came and passed without any problems, though he was sore and weak by the time morning rolled around he was generally alright. And the thought of seeing Sirius' cousin, husband and their child the next day was comforting enough. He had met them once when the baby was born, having been with James and Sirius at the time. He and the latter had gone to St. Mungos to welcome the baby, after Sirius claimed he was probably the only family that would go. He was right, nobody else showed up except for Teds' parents.

A few hours later after they had all showered and dressed they were being ushered onto the train. Swept along in the small crowd of students, they automatically made their way to the back. Finding an empty compartment they sat discussing matters such as strange dreams they had had and even (on occasion) bringing up the odd fantasy. Remus, of course, stayed silent when these were brought up. He tended to stay away from girls because of (what Sirius had quaintly named) his 'furry little problem'. He thought it made it sound like he had some rabid rabbit hidden in the dorm room. But then again that was probably for the best, he would rather people think he was a bunny lover than a werewolf.

Needless to say, the train ride didn't seem nearly as long as it was and now was when the phrase 'time flies when you're having fun' might come into play. And before they knew it they were stepping off onto the platform and looking for Sirius' cousin. 

"How old did you say the girl was?" James asked, looking almost hopefully at Sirius.  
"Three Prongs, shes three. Don't get your hopes up." Remus chuckled at this, shaking his head at the look of disappointment etched across James' features. Though his laugh became louder as he watched the girl in question dart toward them only to cling tightly to Sirius' legs.  
"'Ello Dora." He said, tossing her into the air and catching her.  
Contrary to popular belief Sirius Black had nothing against children, and he was particularly fond of Nymphadora seeing that she seemed to share his love for mischief. 

A look of glee filled the girls' face and seemed to spread into her hair. For as she latched onto Sirius' neck a tinge of bright green began to expand through the tips.  
"Is she -" Remus started, but was cut off by a dark haired witch whom he presumed to be 'Dora's' mother.  
"A metamorphous? Yes, hello boys." She said, nodding at the three as Ted took his daughter from Sirius' arms and Andromeda wrapped him in a bone crushing hug.  
"Long time no see." She murmured before Ted began to usher them through the crowds toward the beat up old station wagon they had managed to obtain for the trip. They didn't particularly enjoy aparating

with a small child after all. 

-- 

They had been at the Tonks' house for half a week and every night had been the same. Remus, James and Sirius would crowd around the fire place with mugs of hot cocoa at their sides and Nymphadora would toddle over. Often choosing to curl up in Remus' lap and listen to them talk about their adventures at Hogwarts. And every night that was where she would fall asleep, and every night he would kiss the top of her head before he carried her to her room and placed her in her bed. He had always had a way with children.

--------------------------------------------------------

"I thought I told you to hurry up!?"

"You told me no such thing."

"Well I'm telling you now, get your lazy arse out here or you're not coming!"

"But you promised!" The yelling match was over, and a fully dressed Nymphadora stood in the door way of her bedroom, pouting up at her cousin.

"Damn you, you were ready all along?"

"Of course I was you didn't expect me to let you leave without me? You did promise after all." She said with a playful wink as she reached over to grab her bag before walking past the baffled man and into the living room where Remus sat waiting. 

"You two finally ready to go?" He asked and she bit her lip and nodded in reply.

"We would've been ready a hell of a lot sooner if your git of a friend and my git of a cousin wasn't being such an arse." She said coolly, seating herself on the arm of the sofa. 

"Nymphad-"

"Sorry mum!" She called sheepishly, raising a hand and holding it over her mouth. It was amazing what they learned at Hogwarts these days, for the fourteen year olds vocabulary was more colourful than his ever was.

It wasn't long before Remus was gripping her tightly and they were aparating side-along style to where the quiditch game was to be held. Dora (as she still didn't like her full name) had managed to convince Sirius to talk her during the summer, and had managed to convince Remus that he was the proper one for the aparation job seeing as she didn't trust her cousin not to splinch her. 

The ground rushing to meet her feet wasn't expected, and the fact that aparation was graceful for most people. For Dora this was not the case, she found herself stumbling forward as her weight slammed onto her legs.  
"Argh!" She cried, resisting the urge to swear as she grabbed clumsily onto the older mans sleeve. Looking up at him sheepishly as she straightened herself and brushed the non existent dust off of her outfit. 

She was a pretty girl at fourteen, and he a handsome man at twenty eight. Though if you were to tell either that they would end up together in the future they would think of the idea as absurd. She was, after all Sirius' cousin. And he was her cousins friend. No chemistry, right? 

The quiditch game was innocent enough, she sat between the two men while Sirius lectured her on self defence and protection. He had grown rather protective of the girl, despite the fact that he didn't see her often. And as he proceeded to teach her about a painful little curse that "might come in handy when you reach the age to go out on your own" the tips of her light brown hair turned a wicked shade of red. Be it from embarrassment, annoyance or simply dangerous thoughts of what she could do with said curse no one would ever know. 

And as the day wore on Remus found that he could relate to the girl in many ways despite their difference in age. She was wild and took after Sirius in many ways, but she also held a sense of confidence. Defiance of the world and all those ignorant enough to look down on her for her morphing abilities. She was still young and hadn't mastered them completely, so as her moods changed often times her hair would to. But she had a way of keeping her cool that astonished him and he found that, in that sense, he admired her greatly. 

"I had fun today, thank you." She said as the three of them stood on her door step later that evening. Their team lost the quiditch game, but that didn't seem to put a damper on her spirits in the least. She had screamed with the crowd and swore angrily along with Sirius, and it was only then that their family resemblance really began to show itself. But as they stood now, she beaming and he giving her a confused, questioning look. All of that seemed to fade away. 

"I didn't think you would actually take me." She said with a shrug as she turned to enter the house, ducking out of the way of Sirius' hand as it raised to ruffle her hair.  
"Why don't you two come in for dinner?" She asked over her shoulder, quirking a brow in a way she would carry with her through her years. 

--

It didn't take much convincing before Ann, Ted, Dora, Remus and Sirius were seated around the table. With a dinner of chicken, potatoes and broccoli (which both Dora and Sirius attempted to hide beneath their plates) set before them. Dora was sitting directly across from him, and often times he would catch her sending a glance in his direction. It wasn't until he had aparated back to his flat with Sirius that he asked the ruggedly handsome man what was up that he got a reply. 

"She fancies you. My 'baby' cousin fancies you" he stated, his bark like laughter filling the room as he watched Remus turn a violent shade of red. 

"That explains a lot." He said, shaking his head and laughing before he left for the kitchen. Shooing Sirius

out the door.

--------------------------------------------------------

Three years later, seventeen and thirty one. He knew he didn't stand a chance but he couldn't help but notice her as he and Sirius entered the house. Ann and Ted were gone, on vacation visiting some of Teds relatives. And they had asked if the two men would be interested in watching the house and making sure Dora didn't get into any trouble while they were gone.

Originally they had wanted just Sirius to come, but upon hearing tales of his after-school naughtiness they decided another, more responsible figure was in need. And who better than Remus Lupin himself? At this time they had no idea of their daughter lingering affection for the /much/ older male. And even if they did know it probably wouldn't have changed their minds. They knew dear Dora would do nothing to put either into 'awkward' situations. Intentionally… 

The week, however, was full of awkward surprises. The worst having happened on the first day he arrived, he could remember bidding the older couple good bye and sitting in the family room with Sirius. Music blared loudly, Remus decided he needed an escape from the noise. So, rising from his chair he excused himself to use the loo. And assuming that Nymphadora (who was now going by her surname) was either out or in her room, he had opened the door without thinking. 

Of course he had left mere seconds later, and he doubted she had noticed but the damage was done. The image of her near naked figure was burned into his mind like a brander on cattle. Her skin was pure, milky and looked as if it would be perfectly smooth to the touch. Her muscles were toned and her stomach flat, legs long and clad only in a pair of violently green short shorts. She wore a dark blue bra that left little to the imagination and had been bent over the tub with her head beneath the tap.

"Oh god."  
"I shouldn't of seen that." He groaned as he made his way toward the family room once more and found Sirius sprawled on the couch with a copy of witch weekly hovering above his face.  
"Quite an interesting magazine, a bit girly for my taste though. Did you know cucumber is good for your pores?" He asked with a smirk, sitting up as Remus approached.

"You alright moony, you look like you've seen a ghost" he mused, drawing a half hearted chuckle and a vicious shake of the head from Remus.

He had only an hour to relax though before Tonks stumbled into the room. Chunky heeled shoes on her feet causing her steps to look awkward and clumsy. Though he had to admit she looked good, in an odd, cheeky sort of way. Her hair was long, reaching her waist and was pink streaked with blonde in colour. It fell in loose curls and framed her heart shaped face with bubble gum pink lashes lining violet eyes and blonde eye brows sit in a curious fashion above said eyes. Though it wasn't her face nor her hair that shocked him the most. It was her outfit. 

Complete with fish net stalking, a short skirt, tank top and various metallic necklaces that hung low against her clevage. He was oddly surprised as Sirius let her out the door to go god knows where and do god knows what with god knows who. He was worried to say the least, weren't they supposed to be making sure she stayed /out/ of trouble? 

Though his worries proved to be without cause as she returned home a few hours later perfectly safe and in good health to boot. It was then that he remembered the hex Sirius had taught her so many years ago, she would have been well prepared for pretty much anything. Or so he thought. 

It wasn't until a few days later that she returned home drunk and giddy wearing nearly the same outfit that he began to worry. Sirius had been out for the night, leaving a rather anxious Remus at home. And as he helped the girl to her bed he realised he had reason for his anxiety. It hadn't escaladed far, he had set her down and removed her shoes. Covered her up and prepared to leave before she called him back, he knew he should have shook his head and continued on. But he didn't and the damage was done. That was the night they shared their first kiss, despite the fact that she probably wouldn't remember it in the morning.

And remember she did not, all she knew was that she had a raging hang over and he was right by her side from the spilling of her stomach contents to the tea and potions to clear her head ache. They never spoke a word about what had happened the night before, and eventually he had forgotten. Until the day she turned up at the order head quarters as an auror and a new member.

--------------------------------------------------------

"So you really do remember me after all those years?" She asked with a smirk as he nodded and laughed in reply.  
"How could I forget? You're the type of person who seems to burn herself into ones' memory."

"Oh? Is that so?" She asked as they made their way down the hall after her first meeting with them.

/She really doesn't remember that night/ He thought, breathing a sigh of relief as he ran his fingers through his hair. Smirking at the look of awe on her face. She obviously hadn't expected him to remember her. And in her stupor she hadn't been paying much attention to where she was going. Needless to say the end result was not a pleasant one.

Tripping over the umbrella stand and swearing loudly. It clattered to the floor with a loud crash and sent Mrs Blacks portrait to wailing. 

"HALF BLOOD, TRAITOR, FAMILY DISGRACE" She cried until Remus was able to shut her up with a flick of his wand.

"Thanks." She had muttered, flushing a deep red that was quite a few shades darker than the bubble gum pink of her braided hair.

--------------------------------------------------------

Snapping back to the present he shuddered and opened his eyes, though he was met with darkness a horrible imposing black that pressed down on his eyes and made him feel oddly claustrophobic.


	2. Back to the present

-1  
One by one the flakes of snow began to fall, swirling unseen by both though sorely felt against numb fingers and cold faces. He could feel her against him, front to back as she trembled gently with cold. Or perhaps it was fear. She had never liked enclosed spaces that much he knew and he wanted nothing more than to hold her and comfort her.

_But I can't give her reason to think I'm interested._

_But you are interested._

_She doesn't't need to know that._

He argued with himself and nearly sighed aloud, though he restrained it behind chapped lips and closed his eyes against the darkness that weighed down on his pupils. Not even the memories of their many past meetings could erase the thoughts of where they were now. The feeling of concrete against his back and the soft sound of cruel voices from above.

His eyes shot open and widened as he felt a soft hand slide into his larger one, surprisingly warm despite the current weather conditions.

"Tonks" his voice held a note of warning, but did not raise higher than scarcely a whisper.

"I just need to know you're with me." Her reply came, quieter than his so much so that he doubted he would hear it had they not been so close. Her logic was a bit off, he thought, seeing that their bodies were already brushing against one another in a feeble attempt to keep warm in the crevice of the alley way in which they stood.

He nodded numbly, chin brushing against the top of her head and it was only then that he realised how much shorter than he she was. And merlin she fit so well against him, curve pressed against curve as her lean limbs pressed tight against his thin torso and muscled arms.

"Did you hear that?" She hissed, turning on the spot in one soundless motion that held surprising grace, especially for the witch before him. Her lips were dancing close to his ear as she stood on her tiptoes and tried to peer around him. Breath tickling his skin as he dropped her hand and felt a surge of panic rise through him.

"N-no I" he stuttered but was cut off by a hissed 'shh' from the young woman practically in his arms.

She pressed two fingers against his lips in hope of keeping him silent, though she only increased his need to get out. To get away from her and her warmth, her curves.

_What is it?_

He felt like asking, though within moments of his internal inquiry he saw what she had heard. A pair of boots revealed themselves as a door was opened and a sliver of light was revealed. Accompanying these boots was a voice, apparently speaking without much remorse to someone inside. 

He felt Tonks stiffen against him as Bellatrix's cackling laugh reverberated throughout the alley way. Sending a shudder down his spine and making poor Peter visibly shake. He hadn't even noticed his old school time friend being shoved outside. But apparently Tonks had for her already tense muscles became even more rigid than they had before. 

"You insignificant bastard, your task is the simplest of them all and yet you fail. FAIL! And you know damn well that you'll be punished while I sit by and watch. Your days as the dark lords precious pet are _over_." The last word was spoken with such a biting cruelty that Remus physically cringed. A momentary sense of pity surging through him from his school-time friend. Though upon remembering all the bad Peter had done in the past (playing a rather large part in the murder of James and Lily and getting Sirius put behind bars) that feeling passed. Making room for a shock of fear as one by one, four, five, six more death eaters stepped out the door Bellatrix had pushed open moments before.

"We heard yelling." One asked, quirking a brow that would usually be covered by his masks.

"We thought the aurors had found us" another spoke, though his words were slightly muffled by the mask that restrained his features.

Though as they caught sight of Peter cowering in the shadows of the high walls all laughed a cruel, cold laugh though not nearly as high nor threatening as the one that had escaped Bellatrix's lips just seconds before. It did not take long, however, before the dangerous look on the womans' face was noticed. And with eyes widening in what looked to be awe a few slipped back inside. One by one until only one man left, the one without a mask.

He had stepped forward toward Bellatrix and what Remus and Tonks saw in that moment nearly made them forget that the two were shelters for two cold hearts and two twisted minds. For the taller of the two lifted a hand and brushed the hair from his wife's face. Bending his neck to brush his lips against hers in a some what of a public display of affection that made Peter look as if he wanted to retch.

"I'll see you tonight." She purred in his ear, dragging her fingers down his chest before continuing with eyes filled with lust and longing.  
"But for now I have some… business to attend to." She said with a smirk, silvery gaze darting toward the small round man as her fingers tightened on her wand.

"Alright." He said, nodding his head and kissing her once more before he whispered something in her ear that neither of them could hear. Though judging by the look on her face as she viciously nodded and sent him on his way, it wasn't something that had to do with the dark lord in the slightest.

"And as for you." She spat, spinning on her heel to face the other. All compassion having left her voice it was, if possible, a notch harsher than it had been before. Perhaps it was because of her longing to be else where, the bedroom of her husband for example, that brought on the tone and the cruelty. But before the poor bastard knew what was happening her wand was pointed at his chest and a single word was uttered from her lips.

"Crucio." She whispered, though her whisper was scarier than her screams and sent a shiver down Remus' spine and he felt his hands grasping for Tonks' waist. Though he found himself clutching air, for the moment Bellatrix spat that single word Tonks had darted out of the safety of the invisibility cloak. Eyes wide and wand drawn.

"Stupefy!" She all but cried, though her hex wasn't directed at Bellatrix but at Peter. For she knew that if his howls of pain continued for too long then attention would be attracted to the happenings in the alley way. And despite the fact that she knew the pain would not subside in his unconscious state she thought that, in all honesty, he deserved it.

Whirling on her Bellatrix's eyes widened in shock.  
"You." She snarled, teeth bared in a threatening manner that sent a tremor up and down Remus' spine as her wand pressed against Tonks' chest. But surprisingly enough she didn't do anything. She must of thought that there were more order members hidden in the shadows for at that moment Remus hastily removed himself from the crevice in the wall. Tugging the invisibility cloak off and shoving it in his coat with one hand while directing his wand at Bellatrix's face with the other.

"Let her go." His voice was low and threatening.

"Or what, there's nothing you could do to save your girl friend."

Remus trembled at her words but said nothing for a moment.

"Killing her wouldn't be a smart move you know." His voice was calm, but his mind was screaming.

"Oh, and why is that?" Her voice held a note of obviously mock sickening sweetness that made every word glide past her lips.

"Because then the others would be here in an instant and you would have no where to run, no where to hide. All of the aurors know where you are. It wouldn't be safe to give them a reason to come." His voice was low, soft and steady. Though apparently it carried well.

For no sooner had Tonks raised her wand and screamed "stupefy!" at Bellatrix's face, more and more cloaked figures began pouring through the door.

"We have to get out of here." Remus croaked, pointing his wand at random death eaters shouting whatever came to mind. Green lights were flashing around them but quick movements and repelling spells dodged every curse.

"We have to reach him." She jerked her head in Peters' direction. Leaping out of the way of a jet of blue and stumbling against Remus' back.

"There's no time."

"Stupefy!"

"But we have to!"

"Expelliarmus!"

"We can come back."

"It doesn't work that way"

"Fine, lets go!"

"Crucio!"

Remus howled in pain, collapsing onto the cement as the curse hit him square in the chest. Tonks was horrified but no sooner than it happened it stopped, reduced to a dull throbbing as she grabbed his arm with one hand. And caught hold of Peters' in the other, and aparated. Wanting nothing more than to put some good distance between them and the death eaters.

They landed in the sitting room of Tonks' flat and the weight of each other sent all three to the floor. Peter still out cold, Remus seemingly unable to move and Tonks pinned down beneath the weight of the two of them.  
"Remus darling, I know you're hurting but kindly roll over. I need to take care of Mr. Petigrew." she groaned, squirming beneath his weight as he seemed to come to his senses and rolled over, yelping softly in the process.

He didn't know who had screamed the one unforgivable word, but whoever it was must of meant it. For the pain that surged him the moment the jet of light sunk into his chest was unlike anything he had felt before. It was horrifying yet intriguing for he didn't know of anything he could compare it to.

_Not even my transformations are that painful._

He thought, vaguely aware of a tear rolling down his cheek as he shifted on the floor having been spoke to but from whom he did not know. And then it dawned on him, he had seen this flat only once before and that was when he had accompanied Tonks home after a night of drinking as they all wallowed in the sorrow of lives lost. The carpet was soft beneath his aching limbs and he wanted nothing more than to lay there for the rest of the night, though that thought was obviously short lived.

Giving him a look that clearly stated 'you-don't-deserve-to-lay-on-my-floor' Tonks nudged the smaller man with the toe of her boot, flipping him over and then, with a wave of her wand a thick rope like sense jumped forward. Entwining his plump body and binding his arms to his sides and his legs together so that it would be virtually impossible to move. As an after thought she reached for his wand, removing it from his tight fingers she twirled it between her own slender digits and shoved him face first against the wall so that, when he did come to, he wouldn't be able to see much.

She looked to be in a daze, vaguely aware of the sound of movement behind her, and it was only once a soft whimper broke the silence that her eyes widened and she spun around. Dropping to her knees next to Remus. 

"Look at me." She pleaded, brushing her fingers against his cheek as she stared down at his motionless figure with tears in her eyes.

"We need to get you somewhere more comfortable than the floor, do you think you can walk?"

He nodded numbly, cringing as he did so.

She hooked an arm around his waist, heaving him up into a standing position and drawing another gentle yelp from his lips.

"I'm sorry." She mouthed before taking a few testing steps and then falling into a rhythm as she guided him to her bedroom and laid him down on the bed. Brushing his fringe from his eyes she looked down at him sadly.

"I can't stay here." he rasped.

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

_Because if I stay here I'll fall for you even more so than I have already. I'll do something we'll both regret and ruin your life forever._

"Please, I can't." He whined,

"You can and you will, I'll be right back." She said firmly. Turning on the spot and leaving the room, though by the time she had returned with a steaming mug of hot cocoa in her hand (she had learned from him that that was the best thing for this kind of situation) he had fallen asleep.

She watched him for a moment, eyes grazing over his face and then down to the thin fabric of his sweater and then lower still. 

_Tonks! Now is /not/ the time._

She almost laughed at herself, but instead she clamped her mouth firmly closed and set the mug on the table. Casting a quick warming spell over it so it would still be nice and hot when he awoke. Then came the obstacle of making him comfortable, the obvious option was to leave him the way he was. But where was the fun in that? Making her way to the end of the bed she slowly and carefully undid his shoes, pulling them off she set them on the floor next to her bed before waving her wand once, twice, three times.

Her closet door flew open and a pair of pyjamas, obviously meant for a man, soared toward her. She had borrowed them from Sirius a long time ago and forgot to return them. And after the incident in the department of mysteries she hadn't been able to bring herself to give them away. They were cousins after all.

Sighing she waved her wand once more and his robes disappeared, only to be replaced with the more comfortable sleeping attire a mere moment later. She then pulled the blankets up to his chin and brushed her fingers across his forehead. Pushing his fringe away from his eyes and relishing the feeling of his skin beneath her finger tips before she turned and left the room. Switching off the light on her way out as she set a kettle on the stove to boil for tea. Awaiting the arrival of the other order members.__


End file.
